Something Tells Me My Husband Already Wants One

I think this very well may be the most ridiculous idea a man has ever come up with. Ever.

A Monogrammed Steak Brand, brought to you by the fine folks at Williams-Sonoma:

Put your personal stamp on steaks and chops with this branding iron, hand forged in Texas. Your one-, two- or three- initial monogram can include any letter from A to Z. The 11 1/2" long iron comes with a 14" high, wall-mount rack for storage.

Hand forged in Texas, you say? Impressive. And wow...11 1/2 inches long. No doubt it'll be the longest on your block! *wink*

Okay, okay. Look, I understand the importance of men and grilling meat. I get it. It's your thing! Cooking a piece of slaughtered animal flesh to mouth-watering perfection is a thing of glory and far be it from me or anyone else to take that pleasure away. And I've got to admit you're pretty damned good at it.

But I believe that branding your steaks with your initials is just plain asinine. I mean, it's not like it's difficult to identify the chef. We all saw you behind the cloud of carcinogen-filled smoke and you'll be the one who smells of charred beef for the rest of the evening. You're probably also the one who's had the most beers. There is no doubt in our minds to whom to give the credit of the divine cut of meat about to grace our lips. Must you really mark your territory in this arena? Why not just pee on it and save yourself the $39.95?

Again, fellas...I salute your skill with open flame and appreciate the time and precision that goes into a great steak and the pleasure you get out of it. But wouldn't $39.95 be better spend on these?

I'm just sayin....

Weird Science

Here's a new way for you guys to get your heart rates up without breaking a sweat! Scientifically proven!



This video raises a few questions in my mind, most notably...what exactly were they trying to prove in this "scientific" experiment? The anticipation of having your nads shattered by a 50mph speeding tennis ball makes the heart race? Um, duh? Also, what the hell was this dude thinking when he volunteered? Could they have possibly replayed the clip of this poor guy crumpling to the floor any more?

I love the dude who tries to offer comfort by explaining that "you'll be glad to know we got amazing footage". Yes. I can tell he's super glad!

The closing comments from the guy in the red shirt are just the icing on this three-tiered cake of stupidity.