Something Tells Me My Husband Already Wants One

I think this very well may be the most ridiculous idea a man has ever come up with. Ever.

A Monogrammed Steak Brand, brought to you by the fine folks at Williams-Sonoma:

Put your personal stamp on steaks and chops with this branding iron, hand forged in Texas. Your one-, two- or three- initial monogram can include any letter from A to Z. The 11 1/2" long iron comes with a 14" high, wall-mount rack for storage.

Hand forged in Texas, you say? Impressive. And wow...11 1/2 inches long. No doubt it'll be the longest on your block! *wink*

Okay, okay. Look, I understand the importance of men and grilling meat. I get it. It's your thing! Cooking a piece of slaughtered animal flesh to mouth-watering perfection is a thing of glory and far be it from me or anyone else to take that pleasure away. And I've got to admit you're pretty damned good at it.

But I believe that branding your steaks with your initials is just plain asinine. I mean, it's not like it's difficult to identify the chef. We all saw you behind the cloud of carcinogen-filled smoke and you'll be the one who smells of charred beef for the rest of the evening. You're probably also the one who's had the most beers. There is no doubt in our minds to whom to give the credit of the divine cut of meat about to grace our lips. Must you really mark your territory in this arena? Why not just pee on it and save yourself the $39.95?

Again, fellas...I salute your skill with open flame and appreciate the time and precision that goes into a great steak and the pleasure you get out of it. But wouldn't $39.95 be better spend on these?

I'm just sayin....