Hello, Mr. Penis.

A gentleman approached me at work today inquiring about sunglass clip ons. He was wearing mirrored sunglasses so I could not see his eyes, but he was quite cheerful and friendly.

He was also wearing what looked like men's pajama pants, the thin kind with the opening in the front.

He was not, however, wearing any underwear.

He also had a huge erection.

He spoke to me for ten whole minutes as if nothing was out of the ordinary...as if his genitalia wasn't swinging back and forth in the open air.

I attempted to walk away several times, but he had many questions. Many stupid, repetitive questions. Which leads me to believe that perhaps he was not ignorant to the situation and was trying to keep me hanging around (no pun intended). And the glasses....the dark glasses that completely concealed his eyes. He never removed them during our whole conversation. Just creepy. Perhaps he had no idea of his protruding insult, but I doubt it.

I eventually just walked away, and alerted the other optician in the office to the situation. We shared some horrified giggles and then he was gone.

He wouldn't be the first creep I've encountered in the work place, and he most certainly won't be the last. But hey, we gotta fill up our days somehow. At least we have some stories to tell.

Hands

These hands...they do amazing things. They can quell my fear, give reassurance, and work out all the tension in my shoulders. The can write me little love notes on the fridge, warm my feet when they are cold and prepare a delicious meal for us to share together. Most notably, these hands fill me with love and joy with only a simple touch.

Tell Me When It's Over

Snoopy just knows this next contestant for American Idol is gonna suck. He can't even look.

Black Dove

This is my best friend. Ain't she gorgeous? BFF's!!

I Love You

This Is My Good Side

Boycott Winter!

Two hours ago the sun was shinning brightly and the snow was almost all melted.

Now we have blizzard conditions with 30 mph winds.

Winter in Utah....you gotta love it.

Wait, no you don't.

I Said, Stop Typing!

Tibetan Singing Bowl

In Buddhist practice, singing bowls are used as a support for meditation, trance induction and prayer.

I find that the resonating sound of the struck bowl brings clarity and peace and clears the surrounding environment of any undesired negativity. The stones I've placed around the bowl are changed from time to time, and designate specific thoughts I wish to focus on that day.

Memories

My grandfather had a passion for typewriters. He started out working for Royal and eventually opened his own business, Mecham's Typewriters, which was on the same property as his home. We often spent days at Grandma and Grandpa's house, and would walk over to his shop to watch him work on typewriters and to get gum out of the gumball machine he kept in his office (when you're 7, putting a penny in a gumball machine and turning that big metal knob is about the greatest thing ever). I still remember the smell of the cleaning chemicals and the oils he used. He ran that business successfully for almost 30 years, until he passed away in 1997. This was one of his personal typewriters. It still works beautifully.

I miss you, Grandpa.

Get Your Commemorative T-shirts Now, America

That's right...The McRib is back. Wet nap and complimentary barf bag included in your combo meal.

Part Of A Complete Breakfast

I drink this at breakfast everyday.

It's fortified for kids. And also for me. They left that off the package, but trust me.

Now you might not think there is much difference between 'vanilla' and 'very vanilla', but there's a world, nay, an entire galaxy of difference. This stuff tastes like liquid ice cream. Liquid ice cream you can drink for breakfast.

I love you Very Vanilla Silk. Don't ever leave me.

This Paw...It Is Dirty

Elephant

Book Worm

Whiskers

Needs More Cowbell

Pachira

The Pachira, also known as a 'Money Tree', is symbolically associated with good fortune and luck and is often used in Feng Shui to attract prosperity.

At one point this little guy was flourishing, but thanks to the minimal winter sunlight and an encounter with a cat who had the 'munchies', he was reduced to a leafless twig.

This new little bud just sprouted a few days ago.

Rub My Belly For Luck....I Dare You.

Miso Pretty

A lovely day spent with a lovely friend. Good lunch, better talk and this splendid little souvenir to remember the day.

Gamers

Lan Party.

Tonight.

Our basement.

The guys have been going for about six or seven hours and are still going strong.

I'm not personally a fan of computer games, but I can really appreciate their enthusiasm and enjoy watching them get together.

Desert Sky

This was taken during the drive back from Boise this past November. The sky had been rather gloomy the entire weekend, but the sun made her appearance and smiled down on us for a brief moment.

Stupid Questions With Your Friendly Neighborhood Optician

In todays episode, we feature a conversation between me (your friendly neighborhood optician) and a patient who came into the office to purchase a pair of glasses:

Patient: So how tall are you?

Me: Uh.....well, 5'3"

Patient: *laughing* Oh, well that's okay. We like the little people.

Me: Oh. Um. That's good, I guess.

Patient: I bet your husband is, what, 6'4" right? *more laughing*

Me: Um. So did you want to go with that glare free lens doctor recommended?

Patient: Oh, um, no I don't need anything fancy. So how tall is your husband then?

Me: Your total is $181.54.

Spark

Pieces

C'est l'amour (It Is Love)

My sister Amy loves animals. So much, in fact, she's made a career caring for them, working as a veterinary technician for a local 24 hour animal hospital.

Here, you can see her administering her love. Marbles looks quite pleased, no?

Muzzlepuff

Sunshine....She Returns

Beware The Claw

Missing: Sun. If Found, Please Return.

View outside our front window at 8:30am this morning.

Gloomy.

I miss the sun.

Rabbit in a Sombrero and A Leprechaun Napping

This was found tucked inside an extremely old and well-loved copy of The Hobbit. How it got in there, I do not know. I haven't read The Hobbit in years. It's written on a piece of paper from the Circus Circus hotel in Las Vegas. The writing, which is written in a combination of my writing and my best friend Willow's writing, reads as follows:

a ducky or three

Rabbit in a sombrero

Leprechaun napping

Dream & Sister

a flying *something illegible*

bear elephant

pig, no aardvark

puppy bone

Winged shoe

lions face

turtles, bees

in the peaks of snowy mountains, tops of grassy rolling hills

I'm guessing this was written either in the Circus Circus hotel, or on the way back from Vegas. The last time Willow and I was in Vegas was 2003 for the Lottapianos Tour featuring Ben Folds and Tori Amos at the Joint in the Hard Rock Hotel. We had managed to sweet talk our way to some front row seats courtesy of Tori's personal security, and we hit a parked car. Don't worry, though...the hotel security cameras didn't see us fleeing the scene. It was a fabulous trip!

I have no idea, however, what this piece of paper means (or meant to us at the time). Still, you can't deny it's a riveting read. And it sure made me smile!