Sometimes I Amaze Myself

So during my morning routine on Wednesday I discovered that I was just about out of facial moisturizer.

Crap.

I also remembered that I made a commitment to not purchase anything during the season of Lent.

Double crap.

My skin is fairly dry in the Winter months and I really need a good moisturizer to avoid looking 20 years older than I actually am. I thought briefly about just bagging the whole thing, but then remembered that Lent is about sacrifice and I wasn't going to give up because of my vanity. I made a commitment and I was going to stick to it. So I turned to the internet to research recipes for home made facial moisturizer.

I found plenty of decent looking concoctions, but I didn't have all of the ingredients required to make them on hand. There were, however, two common components that kept popping up: aloe vera and grapeseed oil.

Upon further research, I found that both elements were highly moisturizing and had anti-bacterial and regenerative properties, which made them ideal for use on the face. I also found that these two ingredients were in the store-bought moisturizer I was already using. Best yet, I had both of them under my bathroom sink.

So I grabbed a small, clean jar and a kitchen spoon and started mixing, adding and stirring until the consistency felt about right. Here's what I ended up with:

4 parts aloe vera
2 parts grapeseed oil
2 drops of pure essential oil for fragrance (I used ylang ylang..it smells so fresh!)

I've been using this morning and night since Wednesday and, much to my surprise, I LOVE IT!! I think this concoction actually moisturizes better than my store-bought cream. It absorbs quickly, is non-irritating and I haven't seen one sign of a breakout.

It's also not bad on my hands and feet.

I have to admit, I'm a bit pleased with myself. I never thought I'd actually try making stuff like this at home, let alone put it on my face. But I stuck to my commitment and as a result, discovered something pretty neat (well, I think it's neat) and was able to find an effective solution without hitting the store!

Pretty In Pink

I rummaged through my cupboards last night looking for something to do. I found a cherry chip cake mix and two tubs of frosting, one cherry and one cream cheese. Perfect.

The cherry flavor frosting is very reminiscent of the old Bonne Bell cherry lip balm. I enjoyed it enormously.


Though really, you can't go wrong with classic cream cheese frosting. Delightful. Guess how many I ate...

When I wasn't baking and frosting and putting pink sprinkles on things, I spent the rest of my day purging. I sorted out all the clothes and make-up I'm not using, dividing it up between what will be donated and what is trash. I was amazed at how much stuff I have that I'm not even using! Half of it, I didn't even know where it came from and some of it still had the tags on. Nice.

As a result, I have six bags of clothing to go to the Road Home this week. There are plenty of women who could really use these clothes; it's wasted far too much time in my closet. I also went through our medicine and tossed loads of expired cold remedies.

Ahhh, I love purging! It's so therapeutic.

Lent

I haven't participated in the Christian tradition of Lent since...well, ever. Though I was baptized and raised a Roman Catholic, our participation only went far enough to satisfy our traditionally Catholic grandmother. And while I'm no longer an active participant in the Catholic church (organized religion just isn't my cup of tea), I still find value and significance in some of the traditional practices.

The period of Lent denotes the forty days preceding Easter, beginning on Ash Wednesday. It is a time of soul-searching and repentance, and of reflection, taking stock and sacrifice. During this period, we voluntarily give up (or fast from) something in which we find pleasure as a means of returning to simplicity and purity, and to identify with Christ's sufferings.

Now personally, I don't feel that one need be a religious individual to participate in this Spring ritual of renewal. I think we can all benefit from a bit of sacrifice and reflecting on our lives. In these times of war and economic strife, I feel it is particularly important to take stock and be mindful of our blessings and to center ourselves around what truly matters.

So after some thought, I'm choosing to give up buying. That is to say, the act of spending money and the acquisition of possessions. It is far too easy for me to buy something just because I want it....a new shirt I happen to pass by or a new purse, a new facial cleanser even though I already have some, just grabbing lunch out instead of eating the food in the house I've already purchased, etc...and I'm choosing to give up this self-indulgent behavior.

Until Easter Sunday, I shall not spend a penny on anything (save for groceries*) or acquire any new possessions. This includes any health and beauty aids, entertainment and cleaning supplies. I'll just need to make good use of what I already have, and employ some ingenuity and creativity. No more Jamba Juice, no more Starbucks Chai Frappuccino's (ouch!), and I can kiss that cute bag I saw at work yesterday goodbye.

My husband is not participating in this, however he is supportive of me even though it means not going out to the movies or dinner until Easter ("Lent goes until Easter? Yikes, I thought it was a week!"). He's a good man. And there are still plenty of ways for us to entertain ourselves without spending any money. Like I said...creativity!

Anyone else participating in Lent? What are you giving up?


*And yes, I realize Lent traditionally includes the practice of fasting. Given my health issues, however, I'm not sure that would be entirely wise. Though for the sake of Lent, I'm defining "groceries" as essential meal ingredients. So I'll be fasting from Oreo's, Goldfish crackers, chips and salsa and the like. It's gonna be tough!

Givin' Props To A Creative Gal

I'm linking to this post on my friend Bekah's blog not only because I want to win one of her fabulous creations (oh please pick me!), but because I want to spread the word about what a clever, creative and stylish gal she is!

She does some darling things with vinyl, which you can see at her Spell It Out Designs blog.

And you must must must check out her hand-made iPod/phone/camera cases at her Needle Pin Productions etsy store, which were recently featured on TV:

(Bekah's bit starts at the 5:00 minute mark)

I gotta get me one of those! Anyway, check her out!

Good News / Bad News

Good news first.

I finally spoke with my neurologist today. My MRI comparisons actually showed no significant changes in the progress of my disease. There are still some active lesions going on, but nothing new. This was great news! And it gave me the confirmation I needed to go forward with the treatment plan I was leaning towards.

I did a lot of research on the new medication she suggested for me. I read forty different patient experiences on this drug and spoke to five people I know personally who are currently taking it or have taken it. I got very little positive feedback. Most people experienced side effects that were bad enough to hinder daily function. Of those who chose to stay on the treatment, they had been in much worse shape prior to starting the treatment (some were struggling to walk) and this drug made a significant improvement in their ability to move and function. They felt the trade off on the side effects was worth it. And I would be inclined to agree.

However, I am not quite so progressed. While I definitely struggle with certain physical activities, the side effects, I feel, have the potential to put me in a worse state than I'm in now. I simply can't justify making myself feel worse and I want to feel as good as I can for as long as I can.

As such, Nick and I felt we wanted to give the treatment I was originally on another try. Our research found that the reactions I was having were not uncommon and they seemed to be innocuous. My doctor agreed that there was most likely no harm in giving it another go. If I have more problems, it's time to move on. But I feel it's worth a shot. So we're moving ahead. Whew!

Okay, now the bad news.

As I'd mentioned previously, I was torn over the decision to take a new job. The new job would mean some sacrifices, most notably a huge cut in pay. But it would get me off my feet and offered amazing benefits. After much agonizing, praying, and even a tarot reading, I decided I would accept the job were it offered to me. And it was looking good. They asked me in for an interview, after which they gave me a tour of the building and even the benefits packet which contained all the options available and their costs. They called all of my references over the last few days, and it was sounding like they were definitely interested. I was getting excited for this new venture.

Today, however, I received their form letter in my email explaining that they did not feel I was right for the position at this time. Bugger. Seemed odd to me that they would go to all that effort if I wasn't right for the job. But...the job market is saturated right now. There may very well have been someone else more qualified. Or more in need. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't awfully disappointed, but perhaps it just wasn't meant to be right now.

Still, all things considered, I'm feeling pretty good. My energy levels have been inexplicably up the last few weeks, which has also significantly buoyed my spirits. It's been a long time since I could adequately make it through the day at work, and I've been able to make it up the stairs without help once I get home. I've even had the energy to cook dinner. Talk about the little things. But it's been a long time since I've felt this good, and I'm going to appreciate every little bit.

Happy Valentines Day!

Me: "So what sounds good for lunch today, honey?"

Nick: "Brains."

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!

Cake or Death

Decisions.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

I'm not a fan of decisions. Ask anyone who knows me, they'll tell you. I don't care to be put in charge of deciding anything. Lunch? You pick. Movie? Whatever tickles your fancy. Blue or pink? Why choose...get both.

So it should come as little surprise that I am having a dickens of a time with two major decisions that lay before me.

I'm still up in the air on the results of my recent MRI, which is subsequently delaying my treatment decision. Whether or not the results will sway my choice, I don't really know, but it probably couldn't hurt.

I don't like having to choose, let alone having to choose between the lesser of two, or in this case, three evils, which are as follows:

- Go back on my original treatment and hope that the sudden onslaught of reactions was a fluke or the result of a poor batch of medicine

- Try a new treatment that may stave off disability but at the cost of potentially rendering me non-functional due to the severe side effects

- Do nothing and hope for the best.

If only it could be a bit more cut and dry...



I also have a job interview coming up this Friday. It's with a highly acclaimed and stable company and offers much better hours, affordable benefits, and will be much less physically demanding. The one downside is that it's a significant cut in pay. Our medical expenses have already been much higher than last year, and we're only in February. And a new insurance brings with it fresh new deductibles. So taking this job would mean more expenses on less income. But it has the serious potential to stave off the loony bin much longer than my current job.

Maybe I could run some computer simulations...



One thing is clear, however. Eventually, I'll make a choice. And I know that, even if the outcome is not ideal, my head probably won't fall off. We'll find a way to manage.

But can't I just have cake?

A Bit of Poppet Wisdom

(image courtesy Slaughterhouse Studios)

In these troubled times, I think we should all be focusing on getting back to the basics.

Lisa Snellings is a truly talented and visionary artist. And I think Poppets are about the coolest things on the planet. Check them out!

And let them remind us to use the Golden Rule every day.

Maneki Neko

Maneki Neko literally translates to "Beckoning Cat", but is also known as "Welcoming Cat" or "Lucky Cat". This common Japanese sculpture is believed to bring luck to the owner.

This little dude was given to me by my dear friend Angie, to bring me luck and good health. Isn't she a gem? I'll take all the luck I can get! Thanks, friend!

The Power of Stupid

The following conversation took place during a phone call I received from a nurse at my neurologists office:

Nurse: I'm just calling to let you know we have the results of your MRI.

Me: Oh, good.

Nurse: It looks like there have been changes in the MS.

Me: I see. So, what exactly does that mean?

Nurse: Well. I don't exactly know.

Me: Uh...

Nurse: The thing is, you were supposed to take the copies of your previous scans Dr. Banks gave you to the imaging center so they could make a comparative evaluation.

Me: Um, no...I was not instructed to bring any copies of my previous scans nor did the imaging center ask for any. And Dr. Banks didn't give me the copies. They should still be in my chart.

Nurse: No, she said she gave them to you.

Me: No, we looked at them at my appointment last week. They're in my chart.

Nurse: Let me just....oh! Well look at that, they're right here. Huh. Well, Dr. Banks isn't back in the office until Monday, so I'll have to check with her and see what she wants to do and go from there. I'll call you back on Monday.


Yes, wonderful. Call me back on Monday. And thank you for calling today to give me absolutely NO useful information, but just enough to cause me worry. "Changes in the MS". What the fuck does that mean? Did she seriously not expect any follow up questions to that vague statement?

I am seriously losing my patience with the stupidity and the incompetence of these health care "professionals". Not only does my doctor not have the decency to deliver my test results in person, but she gives the assignment to an individual who hasn't been provided with adequate information and who isn't qualified to answer any of my questions. Genius!

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

An easy notion to forget, particularly when you've had a crap day before 10am. I won't go into the details, but let's just say I needed some cheering up. And fast.

The blokes of Monty Python are the very epitome of silliness and embody the idea that life is a bunch of shit, so let's make fun of it.

Yes. Lets!







And let's not forget this classic.

I feel better now, don't you?

Aw, Baby Photos!

As I've said before, I can't get enough of my little nephew. He's just getting to that stage where he's starting to smile a bit and become curious with the world.

Just look at this wee little smile.

He can't get enough of that hand. Looks tasty, no?

Whoa, kid packs a mean right hook. Put up your dukes!

Dude, are you guys seeing this? It's trippin' me out, man!

I don't know what he was looking at there, but all I'm looking at are those nomable cheeks. I want to chomp on them just a little!

Superbowl Sunday Coca-Cola Cupcakes!

So hey, it's Superbowl XI something something something! How shall I celebrate? With baking, of course!

I'm not a fan of football. I don't know the difference between a field goal and a touchdown, nor could I tell you one single rule of the game (apparently it's legal to bash other players in the face with your elbow, I saw some of that going on). But we were invited to a Superbowl party with some family, and I figured if they would be there then perhaps I could tolerate the ludicrous display of testosterone that is football. And it was an ideal excuse to whip out the flour and sugar and add some girliness to the day.

Now I love themes. I make Red Velvet cupcakes for Valentines, patriotic cupcakes for the Fourth of July, etc. But what on earth could I do for the Superbowl? Then I found this recipe for Cola cake from the fine people at Coca-Cola. Perfect.

Our family does enjoy their Coke, and I figured a dessert made with a beverage that can rust a nail was about as manly as I could bake. Not to mention Coke would probably be featured in every other commercial throughout the game. It seemed like a match made in heaven. Well, in my oven.


Aside from the typical sugar, flour, egg, butter, etc., the recipe also called for marshmallows and buttermilk, and for the Coke to be boiled with the butter (along with the cocoa) before adding to the dry ingredients. Huh. I believe this was to melt the marshmallows, but it still took a good 10 minutes of stirring before they all melted.

When it was all said and mixed, the batter tasted rather strange. Not bad, just different. But when they came out of the oven....


Boy, howdy! They weren't half bad! I chose to use prepared vanilla frosting, in lieu of the Cola frosting suggested in the recipe, purely as a time saver. Also, I just really like vanilla frosting and thought it would make a nice contrast with the dark cupcake and chocolate sprinkles. I do love sprinkles.

And people seemed to enjoy them. And, much to my own surprise, I kind of enjoyed the game. Kind of. I still can't say I care much for football, but I must admit that 100 yard run in the second quarter was pretty awesome.

So would I make these again? Probably. I definitely got some compliments on them. Though I would have liked to have had red cupcake papers, kind of like a Coke can. See what I mean about me and themes? I might also like to pipe the frosting on, rather than spread it. And maybe use some red sprinkles....I could go on and on.

Hope everyone had a great Sunday, whether you're a Steelers fan or not!