Cake or Death

Decisions.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

I'm not a fan of decisions. Ask anyone who knows me, they'll tell you. I don't care to be put in charge of deciding anything. Lunch? You pick. Movie? Whatever tickles your fancy. Blue or pink? Why choose...get both.

So it should come as little surprise that I am having a dickens of a time with two major decisions that lay before me.

I'm still up in the air on the results of my recent MRI, which is subsequently delaying my treatment decision. Whether or not the results will sway my choice, I don't really know, but it probably couldn't hurt.

I don't like having to choose, let alone having to choose between the lesser of two, or in this case, three evils, which are as follows:

- Go back on my original treatment and hope that the sudden onslaught of reactions was a fluke or the result of a poor batch of medicine

- Try a new treatment that may stave off disability but at the cost of potentially rendering me non-functional due to the severe side effects

- Do nothing and hope for the best.

If only it could be a bit more cut and dry...



I also have a job interview coming up this Friday. It's with a highly acclaimed and stable company and offers much better hours, affordable benefits, and will be much less physically demanding. The one downside is that it's a significant cut in pay. Our medical expenses have already been much higher than last year, and we're only in February. And a new insurance brings with it fresh new deductibles. So taking this job would mean more expenses on less income. But it has the serious potential to stave off the loony bin much longer than my current job.

Maybe I could run some computer simulations...



One thing is clear, however. Eventually, I'll make a choice. And I know that, even if the outcome is not ideal, my head probably won't fall off. We'll find a way to manage.

But can't I just have cake?