Sniff This

I was sitting at the front desk at work today when a customer approached. I recognized him immediately. He is a very nice, older gentleman and a long-time customer with whom we are all very familiar. I greeted him by name and asked how he was doing and what I could do for him. He explained he needed to reorder some contacts, so I proceeded to look up his records in the computer.

While I was typing away, he leaned over the desk and, with a slight swagger in his voice, said: "Boy, you smell really good. Don't mind if I just lean in and have another whiff.".

Why, yes...I DO mind as a matter of fact. Seriously, did this guy just smell me? Did he really just lean over the desk and ask if he could "have a whiff"? As if to confirm the uncomfortable reality of the situation, he followed up with: "Mmm, yeah...that is quite nice.".

Insert "Side Show Bob" shudder here.

So I know I've known this guy for ten some-odd years and we're all on a first name basis and everything, but I'm just not sure how he felt his comments were a) in any way appropriate and b) not creepy as shit.

Oddly enough, this is not the first event of it's kind. If I had a dollar for every man with an AARP card who made a creepy and/or innapropriate comment to me, I could finally make that trip to Europe. So what's this all about?

Perhaps these men are just trying to relive their youths in some feeble way, or maybe they just get a kick out of flirting with younger women. Conceivably, they are just plain dirty old bastards. Sorry, fellas...but it's gonna take a bit more than your senior citizen discount for Denny's Grand Slam breakfast and a tube of aspercreme to win me over. How about a time machine for starters?

In all reality, I'm not sincerely offended by any of these off-color gentlemen. Mostly I'm just baffled by their motivation and tastelessness. And I wonder what their wives would say if they were caught, for example, sniffing pretty young girls at the eye doctors office like a kindergartner sniffs glue.

Still, perhaps I should start keeping track. I'll put a dollar in a jar for every dirty old dude to cross my path and we'll see how soon I can get to Europe.