We're Still Here

It's been a rough couple of days.

It turns out the CPM machine was causing more harm than good, exacerbating the bleeding. Between that and the blood loss during the surgery, Nick required a blood transfusion. So far he's on his fourth unit. His clotting factors are also low so in addition to the blood, he's also receiving considerable doses of his factor medication.

His leg is now immobilized, since all the moving around was causing the excess bleeding.

He's running a fever.

His lungs are decreased (which basically means he's not using his lungs to full capacity, which is common for people in pain) so he's on an incentive spirometer to ensure he gets enough oxygen and his lungs don't fill with fluid.

The surgeon also came today to drain some of the blood that had built up inside the knee, causing pressure. This consisted of taking a huge mother fucking needle, sticking it directly into the knee and sucking the blood out with a syringe. Then he kind of moved it around, in and out, etc. seeking out more blood to drain out. Mind you, when this was all over Nick felt a significant improvement in the pressure. But it was excruciating while it was going on. While the blood was draining from Nick's knee, all the blood was draining from my head.

Due to the painfulness of that procedure, the surgeon gave him a whopping bolus of his morphine. He also received a dose of Benadryl to help with itching that can be caused by blood transfusions (who knew?). Between the two, Nick is very groggy indeed. Hopefully this can help him get some rest, though.

Sleep has not been easy to come by around here. For either of us. Nurses are in and out around the clock to draw more blood, check vitals and administer more medication and antibiotics and ensure he's using his incentive spirometer every hour. For the last two days Nick has had a blood draw at 4am. 4am! Then a dose of the factor medication at 5am. There is no concept of time in this place. Still, we understand it is necessary and are grateful that they are so on top of things.

I have been here 24/7, only going home intermittently to get fresh clothes, quickly shower and feed the cats. Honestly, I can't think of any other place I would want to be. My home is with my husband, so my home is wherever he is. He is the greatest love of my life, and I'm here to do whatever he needs of me. It's hard. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted; watching him go through this is distressing to say the least. But there is still nothing I would rather be doing.

I can't affirm enough how grateful we both are for all the good thoughts and prayers and phone calls and visitors. It means so much to us and we are really feeling the support from everyone. You are making a real difference.

This too shall pass. The challenges we are facing now should pave the way for less pain and challenges in the future.

More updates as they come.