Someone Please Help Me With This

So....what is this?

I mean, what is this? It looks like a tree, but holy shit it's pink! Barbie pink. Barbie threw up on this tree. Yes, this tree is made of Barbie and probably Hello Kitty throw up. It's hurting my retina's just looking at it. Avert your eyes!

My friend Mandy and I spotted this atrocity at Big Lots earlier this week. Oh, Big Lots. It's all making sense now, isn't it? Look, I'm a fan of the Big Lots. It got us through some rough times with it's oh-so-cheap knock off cleaners and toilet paper. But it's also an establishment notorious for it's strange and random items.

So who's buying this? What's the demographic we're marketing to here? My guess is either the 18-25 year-old female college population or little old ladies. I could totally see this in grandma's living room, clashing beautifully with the sea foam green shag carpet.

But hey, it's Christmas. I shouldn't be so negative, right? And now that I think about it, I can't think of a better way to celebrate our Lord and Savior than with pink plastic pine.